When Your Team Member Hates You + A Thank You Email That Went Viral

Q&A episode answering a tough leadership question from Emer, plus Annette's takeaways from Laura Gassner-Otting.

IN THIS EPISODE:

Thank You Email Goes Viral:

Cathal's email praising his daughter's teacher went around the whole school. Miss Smith said "You'd be surprised how little that happens." Why recognition matters more than we think.

Annette's Laura Takeaways:

- The Four Horsemen of Success (money, title, power, prestige) and why we chase them

- The Forces (Calling, Connection, Contribution, Control)

- "Refuse not to be happy now"

- Balance = being yourself everywhere

- Do Laura's quiz

Listener Question: New Leader, Difficult Team Member

Emer started a new leadership role. Most of her team is on board. But one woman has "taken a total dislike" to her. The woman ignores everything Emer says.

Annette's advice:

1. Work as team to agree on values/behaviors (clear is kind)

2. Get to know this person - seek to understand

3. Might be anxiety, trauma, nothing to do with you

4. Build connection and safety

Cathal's advice:

1. Start with YOU - is this about YOUR need for validation?

2. Imposter syndrome from previous org?

3. Ask open questions: "How are you finding it?" "Any concerns?"

4. Discuss ways of working

5. Reality check: She might just be difficult/jealous/wanted the job

6. If intractable after doing the work, she might need to go

Key Insights:

"You'd be surprised how little that happens." - Teacher receiving thank you

"Refuse not to be happy now. Balance is being yourself in work and life." - Annette

"Let's be real. She might be a piece of work. But we try to be fair." - Cathal

Resources:

Laura Gassner-Otting's quiz

Submit your career dilemma: betteratwork.net

Better at Work - Making work better, one conversation at a time.

New episodes every Thursday.

Hosted by Cathal Quinlan & Annette Sloan